Not getting my dream job was the BEST thing that ever happened to me.
Yeah I know weird right? What person is THANKFUL they didn't get their dream job? This mama right here. You know why? Because had I gotten my dream job I KNOW my family and I would have suffered greatly. Life as we knew it would have changed and NOT in a good way.
A little bit of my back story:
Growing up I always wanted to be a police officer. I don’t know why I just knew I wanted to help people and law enforcement always fascinated me (Who as a kid doesn't wanna run after someone and yell get down on the ground MOTHER F ER haha!).
So I worked hard to stay out of trouble growing up (well most trouble and some I never got caught for). I graduated high school and got into college to study Criminal Justice.
My last year of school I really wanted some experience (because serving burgers at McDonald’s was NOT going to cut it on a job application lol ). I took a job at our local jail as a deputy guard. That was an eye opening experience for sho. I realized very quickly that the jail for the most part was a revolving door of the same people coming and going. This was not the “help” and change I wanted to provide people.
On one particular shift a Probation Officer came to the jail to meet with one of their probationers. That probationer was there on a hold for a sanction (aka adult time out). I will never forget that experience. It changed my whole direction.
That probation officer met with that person and worked for an hour to help them fill out paperwork. Mind you this person could barely read or write so that much patience in itself was clap worthy.
The paperwork included an application so they could get into residential treatment and not go back to prison. He also helped her fill out forms for assistance and housing. That way when she completed treatment she would be stable. She then could regain custody of her children and support them as needed.
The look on that probationer’s face of gratitude is something that will be stuck in my brain forever.
From that day forward I knew THAT was what I was going to do with my life.
I applied to be a Probation Officer in Wyoming and was hired before I even graduated (go me). I have been doing that ever since and love it. I love helping people change their lives who want to. Get off drugs, get their children back and just go back to being happy. I also keep my community safe from those who are dangerous and won’t change.
Then enter December 17, 2020. I had my first epileptic seizure in my sleep. My husband called 911 and I was taken to the hospital. I was officially diagnosed with epilepsy. Growing up I remember having episodes where I just felt off and figured it was stress or a panic attack. Nope those were focal seizures. I was placed on medication and allowed to go about my business.
I didn't understand why did almost everything work out only for the door to slam in about 3 seconds.That phone call still echoes in my head today. ”I am sorry but we have to resend our offer. They will not clear you to drive.” I. was. DEVASTATED. I remember bawling in my office at work PRAYING no one would knock on my door or they would see me a blubbering mess. I remember feeling like I was disabled, like I wasn’t good enough.
1. IT WILL MAKE YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND YOUR ABILITIES:
For years I went back and forth if I was even going to apply. I didn’t believe in myself and didn’t think I was good enough to work for the feds. Applying for this job and getting the job proved I was good enough, no matter what the outcome I got the job. I DID IT!
2. IT WILL MAKE YOU APPRECIATE WHAT YOU ALREADY HAVE:
I was so focused on getting this job and getting the heck out of dodge I didn’t appreciate the good job that I had. I have a job that appreciates the work I do. They always work with me when I have a sick kid, a family emergency or just want to take a spur of the moment day off. They provide health insurance, good retirement and most importantly they help me support my family. We may not be rich but I can afford everything my family absolutely needs and then some.
3. IT WILL PUT YOUR FAMILY TIME AS YOUR TOP PRIORITY AND PUT YOUR FAMILY LIFE IN PERSPECTIVE:
One of the best benefits of living in a smaller community is the ability to get from A to B quickly. I work and live about 4 blocks from my child's school. I am able to run right there if she is sick and needs me to come get her or if she forgot her back pack, lunch or whatever.
I can also get home in 5 minutes flat which allows me to have evenings with my husband and children. If I had my "dream job" my commute would have been about an hour each way. Two hours a day of driving. Two hours I would not really be spending with my family. I know that commute would have added to the work mom life stress that is always there. I would have been a hot mess yelling at my kids to hurry up, to leave, get in the house, eat dinner and get to bed to start all over again the next day. No thank you.
My kids also would have most likely had issues adjusting to a new environment. My oldest is like me. She hates change and has a routine for everything. It would have been a huge adjustment to change everything she has ever known. We have lived in our house since she was six months old; she has always gone to the same school and even to the same daycare when the school is closed. She has had the same friends her entire life. All of that would have changed for her and not in a good way.
4. IT WILL REMIND YOU THAT YOU CANT ALWAYS GET WHAT YOUR WANT:
Even in my mid 30’s this is still a hard concept to grasp. I work my butt off and can almost always find a way to get exactly what I want. Right or wrong its part of the reason I want to work (new shoes here I come!). This experience has taught me that I have no control over some things, to get over it and accept it. It also allowed me to provide a good lesson to my oldest daughter that we cannot control everything and we can’t always get what we want. . . not even mommy.
5. IT WILL BRING YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND CLOSER:
My husband knew I was completely devastated by the news. I remember calling him a complete blubbering mess and I will never forget what he said:
"I know you deserved that job and I know this sucks but I love you and nothing will ever change that.”
During the next weeks that followed he listen to me complain and cry and never once did he tell me to get over it. In fact he told me all the reasons that we are better off living where we are. It made me love and appreciate him even more.
To this day my husband has not waivered from his belief that we would have not been happy and honestly after looking at everything I agree with him. Does it still hurt, yeah. Will I ever be able to hear about Oklahoma without being annoyed AF lol maybe, maybe not but life. goes. on.
6. YOUR JOB IS NOT YOUR IDENTITY NOR DOES IT DETERMINE YOUR SELF WORTH:
Lastly I learned that my job is temporary but OBVIOUSLY your family is forever. A since retired probation officer left me this little piece of wisdom and I try to remember this when I think my job is the end all or be all:
“Your headstone will not say great probation officer, awesome employee or cool coworker. It will say wife, mother, sister, friend etc. So always choose family over your career.”
Your career doesn’t define you mama or your self-worth. Your family is more important than any job you could ever get. Money and that job won’t give your family your attention, time and love. Only you can do that mama, only you <3
So when you get passed up whether it be the 1st time or 15th time, remember it WILL BE a blessing in disguise even if you don’t see it right away. You are exactly where you are meant to be.
XOXO - Kindra